Driving to work today, I heard May We All, by Florida Georgia Line. It really spoke to me about my mom's accomplishments. If a picture is worth a thousand words, this one is worth a million. This weekend was really special. The whole family went home for Mom's 67th birthday, and were given the chance to watch one of her therapy sessions. Her determination is incredible and so inspiring!! Happy birthday to the strongest, kindest, bravest woman I know. May I grow to be half the woman you are. May we all... learn a little something from the worst times... get a little stronger from the hurt times.
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We have been meaning to update about our mom's progress, but the holidays have kept everyone very busy. Since our last post in June, Mom has started wearing a memory patch. Sometimes we think it's helpful, and other times we think it's causing her a lot of anxiety. However, we've noticed an improvement in her memory overall, so she is sticking with the patch. She talks a lot about her desire to walk. She can get very down about her state of mobility, and in those moments she starts working out a ton. Though therapy is no longer providing her services (insurance has deemed her "plateaued" because she did not make enough gradual progress), we know she is still improving. For that reason, Sara purchased a foot bike for to use while sitting in her wheelchair. She loves it and uses it all the time. We also practice walking with her as often as possible. What we need to decide now is if we want to private -pay for insurance or if there are any loopholes to get insurance to cover her again. We want to help her make as much progress as possible, especially with Sara's Denver wedding coming up in September. (Request: If you know anything about traveling nurses, particularly in Colorado, please let us know!) Below is a video of a her reading The Little Engine That Could (it's totally our mom), another video showing off a few of the times we have helped her practice walking, and random photos from the last few months, including a photo of the stocking she made for Chad and James for Christmas. <3 It has been a while since the website has been updated! A lot has happened since Mom and Dad's anniversary. I (Brandy) am going to give you an update. On June 12th, Chad and I got married. Mom was able to come along, thanks to her determination and the help of her former physical therapist, Kathy. It was a really special day. To start off, my mom's old hair stylist met her at Courtyard to do her hair and make up. Next, Kathy met her at Courtyard. Then, Chad's best man's sister (thank you Alex and Ellie!) offered to drive Mom, Dad, and Kathy to the wedding. Let me walk through the events of the day... The day started with getting ready and passing out gifts. This is a page from The Chandy Times: Then, it was time to see the bride in her dress for the first time! We had plenty of quality time together before the ceremony. What a good looking family! Time to walk down the aisle.. Let's get married! Let's celebrate! The day is one we will all always treasure. As for what's next for Mom, that's something we are still figuring out. Though we have loved the care Mom has received at Courtyard, we don't feel that being there will push her to her potential. We are currently seeking advice, and praying for answers, about what/where is next/best for her. While she is very loved at Courtyard, she is no longer receiving therapy and will not "unless she declines." We hope to find somewhere she will continue to receive therapy. If you have any advice, please let us know!
XOXO For more wedding pics click the following link: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/l9nj0qbsfuo4exs/AAABiSlpotxzEfiVn0xGv5Kfa?dl=0 Saturday was our parents' 44th wedding anniversary. Their love is truly something to inspire anyone. We've learned, especially throughout the past 2 years, that LOVE alone is enough to live for. To celebrate their anniversary, Dad treated Mom and me (Brandy) to lunch. We went to Hacienda, of course, because it's Bon Bon's favorite! The day was off to a great start. Dad had a Coors Light and the girls shared a margarita flight (honestly, it probably totaled about a half margarita each... so this was not a big impact on the remainder of the day). We went back to Courtyard, and I painted Mom's toes outside - I was pampering her and getting her ready for the wedding. We were sitting outside in the sun (and it was really hot out...), when I noticed my mom's eyes looked like they were rolling into the back of her head. Then, her hands looked like they were shaking. She wouldn't verbally respond to us and wouldn't lift her feet when we asked her. The doctor took her blood pressure and temperature - her temperature was a bit high and her blood pressure was very low. We cooled her down with damp towels, and she rested in bed. Things seemed to be getting better, so I started organizing her drawers and swapping her winter clothes for spring/summer. While sorting through the tee shirt drawer, something fell on my lap. Being a cat owner, I assumed the little brown mass was a hairball or cat toy. It took me a minute to realize that WAIT A MINUTE, there isn't a cat here. It was a dead mouse!!! My dad says I screamed louder than he has heard me and ran faster than someone standing up, but I was sitting down. It sure scared the nurses and Mom. After the mouse shenanigans, Dad went home to work on the yard, and I stayed with Mom. When she woke up from a nap, she was extremely disoriented. She wasn't sure where she was, and she wanted her husband there A.S.A.P. Dad rushed back out, and the nurse took her vitals again. At this point, the nurse was worried about her blood pressure, especially because Mom kept pointing to her head and saying it felt weird. Given that 2 years and 2 days prior she had a brain aneurysm rupture, no one wanted to take any chances. The nurse advised that we go to the hospital, and from there an ambulance took Mom to the E.R. Being back in the E.R. was horrifying, as it was the first place I went after we found my mom collapsed in the garage two years prior. Flight or fight set in, and though I was shaking and it was a blur, I held it together and tried not to show my mom that I was nervous while they took XRays, an MRI, EKG, blood work... My dad talked the ears off the doctors and the nurses, telling stories about their marriage and their daughters. Finally, at around 11:00PM, the doctor reported that he was so thrilled that all of her scans came back normal, blood work was fine, and he was happy to share that it was nothing major. He said that given her history, we should celebrate that it was only dehydration and a urinary tract infection that were the cause for the disorientation and blood pressure drop. Though it could have been very dangerous not to catch it, we did, and that's what was important. He said that the brain has many responsibilities, and because of her injuries, the dehydration and UTI caused major confusion. He wanted her to stay the night for observation, given how low her blood pressure was. When the doctor asked her admission questions, it was clear she was still very disoriented. Though she was accurate about some of the questions (her name, the month, etc.), she thought that the year was 1979. We were thankful the doctors would be looking over her all night, but she cried when we left, which put us all in tears and made me consider sleeping on the floor. No one wants to see their mother cry. I doubt my dad and I slept a wink. There were so many memories flooding back to us about the summer we spent in the ICU/hospitals. At 5:30AM, I was up and on my way to Starbucks. When the Starbucks employee asked for payment, a man walked in front of me and asked he if he could buy my order as a way to bless my day. I think he was a guardian angel, because that has never happened in my life, and a blessing was certainly what I needed. When I got to the hospital, my mom was in much better spirits. She knew exactly where she was and was thrilled to see me. However, she was in and out of it all morning. At one point, she asked me where she was, who she was, who I was, and who "Chuck" was. It was heartbreaking, but I reassured her that the wires were just crossed and the infection was causing her to feel extra confused. The doctor discharged her early in the afternoon and said that it would help her to be in a familiar location, not the hospital; she said she thought that was scaring her and causing her bigger disorientation. So, we headed back to Courtyard. By the end of the day, Mom was doing so much better. She pointed to a picture of Sara and her dog and said, "Sara and Bo!" She was smiling, laughing, and watching the Indy 500 in great spirits.
In reflecting on the weekend, I am so thankful that God sent me home again to take care of not only my mom but my dad. Though it kills me a little inside each time something scary like this happens, I know I need to be strong for both of my parents. We are thankful that her infection was brought to our attention while I was home so that my dad did not need to go through the hospital visit alone, and I am also counting the blessings that it was this weekend and not two weeks from now. I would have canceled our wedding and driven to Goshen to be there for my mom if she wasn't able to make it up to the wedding. Please pray that she continues to feel better with each passing minute. Two years ago I (Sara) woke up to multiple missed calls from my sister and knew instantly that my life was about to change. That night I arrived in the ICU to see my father in a state a little girl should never see her dad. He was broken, lost, watching the love of his life slip away from him. In the weeks that followed we watched our mom fight through a 2% chance of survival, hanging on to Pastor Don's belief that 'miracles happen in slow motion.' Her head was shaved, with a giant drain taped on, wires and plugs everywhere. We were told each day that she may never wake up and we may have to make decisions soon. We watched as bag after bag filled with blood, draining from her brain, hoping it would be the last. We spent every hour we could at the hospital, sitting in her room during visiting hours and passing time making puzzles, busying our minds, and walking around the hospital grounds when visiting hours were closed. Each night as we drove away from the hospital I prayed I would get to see my mom again the next morning. It's a huge blur and very vivid at the same time.
Two years later I'm so thankful to be able to talk to my mom every day but wonder why something so horrible happened to someone so undeserving. I've watched her go from not moving and not being able to show me she knows who I am, to watching her nod in response to a question, to saying my name, giving me hugs and kisses, telling me she loves me, and most recently learning to walk again. It's been a long and difficult two years but I feel very fortunate to have a strong sissy, the most hopeful and positive daddy, and the biggest fighter of a mommy. Here's to hoping that in another two years she's back to living life the way she would want. Mom lost her own mom shortly after her wedding. She remained close with her mother's sisters throughout her adult life, though with time and distance (they are in their 90s and still living in upstate NY, where Mom is from) they haven't spoken as often. They live together at a nursing home now. Recently, Ellen and Arlene sent about 30+ letters they've collected from our mom over the years. We read them aloud to Mom today, and it was super emotional. We got to hear our parents' life before us and as we entered into the world through the voice of our mom in her annual Christmas card letters to her aunts and often through mid-summer letters as well. From life while her mom was alive and the times she called her to rescue her with "adult questions", to graduating college, to interviewing for jobs, to buying a house with Dad, to remodeling the house, to planting her first garden, to 11 years of traveling before kids, to getting a dog and cats, to life as a teacher, to coaching, to grad school, to meeting her brother's daughter and deciding they wanted kids, to anxiously awaiting my arrival, to having me, to raising her daughters, to us leaving for college... What an amazing experience it was to read those letters. What a gift. In one letter, my mom talks about me taking care of Sara and what a good mom she thinks I'll be one day. I only hope I can be half the mom she has been to us.
We went home last weekend to see our mommy. We had a really wonderful time, and many exciting things happened. Saturday ~ Mom went to Hacienda for her birthday. We also went to Kroger (for the the first time since she worked there!) and bought groceries to make Mom's famous Calico Beans. Sunday ~ Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!! Mom spent the day at home with her family, for the first time since May of 2014. She enjoyed seeing her kitties, resting by the fire, and drinking diet Pepsi! Chad even brought her a frozen margarita. Monday ~ Mom showed us how far she has come learning to walk again. Then, she was interviewed for a newspaper article on her progress! We'll be sure to share the final piece when it is published :) Thank you God for choosing this beautiful, inspiring woman to be our mother.
Christmas at home was a lot of fun! The progress we notice each time we are home always excites us. Bon Bon is becoming quite eager to get movin’ & groovin’ on her own. When she sees something across the room that she wants, or when she needs to use the restroom, she’s quick to exert all of her energy into trying to stand; she’s getting pretty good at this! Therapy recognizes this as both something to celebrate and fear, because she isn’t strong enough to hold herself up yet, but she is determined to do so. We give many gentle reminders that she needs to wait for us or for a nurse to help her. Because of this, Therapy has a big goal of helping her to stand. In addition to helping her stand, they’re also transitioning her into a smaller wheelchair (one where her feet touch the ground). They’re hoping as she gets stronger she will be able to use her feet and hands to push herself around in a smaller chair. Each time we’re home, someone stops us with encouraging words. This break, someone told us that before Bonnie arrived, the staff had read the notes they received from her prior healthcare facility in Fort Wayne and were convinced she was a “vegetable.” Though that choice of language was in poor taste, we took this sentiment positively. Our mom has made an amazing recovery - it’s truly a miracle. In Fort Wayne, we remember praying that one day she could communicate with us again. We said that would be enough; that would make us happy. She has by far surpassed our wildest hopes and dreams. Our prayers have been far more than answered. Her continued determination provides us confidence in what’s to come. Mark our words: when we write this update next year, Bonnie will be walking. Steria women are fighters! Highlights of the week: Essenhaus -On Christmas Eve Eve, we went to Essenhaus. We had a delicious Amish-cooked meal before walking around and looking at the Christmas shops. It was great to get out and about, and the weather made it easy. Chucky Claus -Chucky Claus likes to make an appearance before Christmas to get everyone in the spirit, but because Brandy had the stomach flu on Christmas Eve Eve Eve and Mom wasn’t well on Christmas Eve Eve, Dad dressed as Chucky Claus on Christmas afternoon. Mom passed out cookies as we walked around Courtyard. IU Game -We cheered on the IU Hoosiers in the Pinstripe Bowl. Even though they lost in the end, it was a lot of fun. Go Hoosiers! Family Photo Album -For Christmas, we made Mom and Dad a photo album with all (well…MANY) of the pictures of our family from 1983-1995. This captured most of our childhood. It was so much fun to look at this together. Please pray for our mom to stay safe (NO MORE FALLS!!!) and healthy during this journey. With her continued determination, we know there’s no telling how far she can come. We all have so many things for which to be thankful. Life can get busy, and between the hustle and bustle, to do lists, and packed schedules, it’s all too easy to forget to give gratitude. I’m glad Thanksgiving faithfully comes around every year and reminds us to slow down, spend time with family, and count our blessings.
This Thanksgiving, Sara and I talked a lot about how grateful we are that we never asked our mom’s doctors for a prognosis when we left the ICU. We can almost guarantee they wouldn’t have told us she’d come as far as she has, and that would have been discouraging. Instead, we’ve remained filled with faith, hope, and optimism, and that has made all the difference. For the past few months, we’ve been talking a lot about getting our mom out of Courtyard for an afternoon. For the first time in over a year and a half, we took a family outing. On Wednesday morning, we rented a wheelchair van and headed to Hacienda, which is our mom’s favorite Mexican restaurant. She ordered her signature meal: a taco salad and margarita. Aside from being a little self-conscious about people looking at her (in addition to being seen in a wheelchair, she recently fell out of her chair and cracked open her forehead on a table), it was clear she was so excited to be out and about. While home, Sara also planned a few really appropriate crafts for Mom’s development. We helped her to make foam Christmas ornaments and a gingerbread house. Additionally, she wrote in Christmas cards all by herself. We also went to an exercise class, sang, and did her hair and make up. What a special week it was. |
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